Does what you do impact your relationships?

The simple thing for me is that my wife is also a photographer. She is involved in our mutual photography, is a member of the local camera club and shoots everything from flowers to dance to nudes - men and women. Guess I’m lucky !

jonathantennantphotography.co.uk said

Sandra Blu said

i dumped a (semi) boyfriend last year because he had a massive issue with nude pics, good riddance honestly. I like being single and I like nude photos so any man wanting a relationship needs to be super cool about it. I on the other hand am super cool about a partner shooting naked women so I guess I need to find myself a photographer boyfriend?

(Bats eyelashes. I can cook excellent Spanish food -wink wink)

Fancy a date ? I love spanish food .

Sounds like a PP Tinder Group is over due! 

Re the OP, maybe start finding a date first before you worry about what you do affecting any potentially relationship. Just need to find a decent human being. All else should flow from that. The problem with this sort of stuff after 40 is that the majority of the decent ones have been locked in. A large majority of the others are single for a reason - Damaged goods, baggage or just those just comfortable without having to navigate the other categories. 

Date a model. Problem sorted.

And if I wasn't dating a model and a potential girlfriend was giving me grief because I photographed models then i'd remind her where the door is. I like photographing people, nobody is going to pressgang me out of doing something that makes me happy.

But i was always quite happy in my own company anyway to be honest, so if I was alone it wouldn't really worry me as it seems to do you.

Hope you find your way to being happy :)

Edited by @Golding

Not really. All that happens when i explain the careful process of photographing tiny flowers is that people suddenly remember an urgent appointment. 

Assuming i ever do manage to organise a shoot with a model, my guess is that if the local villagers find out they will grab their pitchforks and banish me from the parish on pain of death should I return. 

We don't really like change around here, and someone bringing  continental influences to this small corner of Britain is likely to be met with extreme hostility. 

If she is not going to accept you the way you are and your hobbies, she is not "The One"

Relationships should be "Positive" and "Tolerant"

There is nothing wrong with photography or infact, nude photography.

The human body is "Beautiful" and I do enjoy capturing "Beauty" .... human, wildlife, landscapes ....

I will not allow anybody to cut my wings or to stop my enjoyment.

Lot's of photographers and models have partners.

You should not think that it is an "issue"

I want a partner to add to my Life, not to create limitations.

It would be much worse wanting to do it, doing it ... and having to hide it.

You need to think deep and assess your priorities.

JME Studios said

... modelling related ...

...single, unmarried & childless. And my Number One priority in 2025 is for that to change; ...

Turning it round, does being a 40 year-old aiming for improvement, coupling and reproduction affect the OPs relationship with models; models' relationship with the OP?

Correcting the weight is clearly a good thing for a wide assortment of reasons. My impression is that the more exotic wildlife photographers tend towards leaner and lither, although one recently demonstrated that this is a rule not Strictly followed, and following Strictly he was notably thinner.

Some sorts of sport photography can be done in ways which involve steady walking, and of course mountaintop photography has it's moments.

Mostly, eat less and walking further is likely to help and if you involve a Labrador it will share any eating you need done, take you on walks, and acquire friends, some of whom might even talk to you.

Good luck.

Every probably 10-20 times a year.
Being a Photographer means, spending alot of time thinking about photography and working more than people imagine.

Most people assume it's all fun and games and most times it is; but there always a point during any shooting day where you have to LOCK IN.
I have alot of late hours, Missing during functions, usually don't exist on weekends etc etc. It also really plays into my Introversion; I am quiet when I want to be and it's very noticeable as I am forced to be quite verbal and chatty; so most times I REALLY just want to be by myself even if I feel lonely.

In terms of my partner she is slowly getting used to it after I've been a working photographer for 5 Years now; I do spend alot of time reassuring that I have zero interest with the people I work with, some I have made good working friends with but it's still that WORK FRIENDS and anytime I am doing any NSFW work either paid or test shooting; she knows.

@Golding said

Date a model. Problem sorted.

And if I wasn't dating a model and a potential girlfriend was giving me grief because I photographed models then i'd remind her where the door is. I like photographing people, nobody is going to pressgang me out of doing something that makes me happy.

But i was always quite happy in my own company anyway to be honest, so if I was alone it wouldn't really worry me as it seems to do you.

Hope you find your way to being happy :)

Edited by @Golding

"Date a model ........" That would solve so much. All those no shows I can just get my partner to pose. 

JME Studios said

I wasn't sure where to park this, but it's still modelling related so I've chosen here.

I've had a long weekend away in a very warm and sunny Marbella - I picked the right weekend! - and it's given me time to do a bit of serious soul-searching.

I'm 40 years old now, which I know is still pretty young in PP Photographer terms. However, I remain single, unmarried & childless. And my Number One priority in 2025 is for that to change; I do not want to be on my own by Christmas 2025.

There are a number of things I need to change - not least lose a serious amount of weight because being a 44" waist and looking like a darts player isn't helping my cause. 😂

But I wonder if this hobby of mine is the real elephant in the room?

I was planning to pull the throttle back on shooting anyway after Christmas for a variety of reasons including a general disillusionment so I think it would be healthy, the "need to miss" and all that, to take a step back in 2025 regardless.

However, I've also come to the conclusion that being in the presence of scantily-clad or topless/nude female company isn't compatible with finding someone and I can't see it being something any woman I invited into my life would tolerate. Especially as at my time of life I'm going to almost certainly be taking on the kids of someone else in any relationship that becomes serious.

But here's the thing, most models I know are in long-term relationships or are engaged. Their partners generally don't seem to mind what they do (although one of my regular muses has stopped doing concealed/implied since things got serious with her boyfriend.)

I also know most photographers on here have wives. Many embrace and encourage what they do.

But for some I imagine it must get in the way?

Photographers - do you get a hard time from your other half? Is it used as a stick to beat you with in the arguments/rows all couples have?

Models - did you feel the need to take your levels down when you became serious with someone? Or has it not been a barrier in terms of relationships?

First of all, all the best luck and will power to you to get healthy, mobile and look like you want to.

I am upfront with all women I meet with my photography and share what I shoot. It's a good filter upfront. That would be impossible with my previous relationship, which did not end because of photography, although my landscape and nightscape photography time was highly restricted.

Good luck with finding love, although I think correcting things about yourself you would love to correct is a better way to get a partner than searching for one and finding the wrong one.

My best advice would be to get better, learn what you need, align what you want with what you need and keep yourself open without giving mixed signals. That will do!

Michelle is not only my partner in life but she’s also a complete photography fruitcake, so win win. Model nudity not a problem, long hours, time away from home not a problem as we are together and enjoy our own company.

Key is finding a good person and your battle is won. Wishing you every success in your search for happiness, they are out there. I met Michelle late in life and for the past 25 years bliss.

No. I have a decade on you. I have mostly been by myself throughout my life with some exceptions, but I think I am unlikely to change that now, and since I won't be a parent -- I personally have always believed over fifty is too late to start, and I find myself here now -- I am more or less happy enough not to waste anyone's time. So what I do matters to more or less nobody one way or another. I struggle to find things that matter enough to me to do them. 

But yes. Forty. If you really want to make a change, honestly, quit shooting what you shoot for a while if you want to date; it will complicate what people think and it might actually be rewiring your own perspective in subliminal ways.

I think working with models and shooting nudes is entirely plausibly something you can do within a relationship, and I think it's imperative to be open about the fact that you *have* done, because why keep secrets.

But do I think actively shooting glamour/erotica in particular is likely to narrow one's dating pool as a single man? Yep. I think I do.

Find yourself the broadest horizons you can; try to meet people you wouldn't expect to like. Figure out ways your photography could have social value and introduce you to new things and new people; honestly I am only alive now because I did that in my 30s. Wouldn't have made it even to 40 if I hadn't found a broader life.

Random thoughts: if you want to be more social, stop doing things that provide your brain with an alternative to social connections. Consider stopping watching TV entirely for a while -- no films, no episodic drama, no news. Stop your brain thinking you already have "your people" when in reality you feel you don't, yet. Make friends in coffee shops. Chat to anyone.

Get yourself fit and healthy for sure -- but not for any potential dates, do it because you're still young enough for it to have a meaningful impact on your longevity and it is easier  to lose weight without consequence.

Here is the advice of another single man..... I think it would be a good idea to get in shape not just because it might enhance your chances with the opposite sex but it will be better for your health and happiness with or without a significant other.

As for model photography.... within the model photography community there is nothing off putting in your portfolio but outside of it is a less sympathetic attitude prevails. Some of my female friends were quite disapproving of me an older man employing young women to pose for me. However, their attitudes have softened and my friendships have not been damaged.

The long and the short of it is that you have little control over your fate but you can do things to help your cause. I would say keep doing what you like doing but be prepared to give it up if you find a potential partner.

Sandra Blu said

i dumped a (semi) boyfriend last year because he had a massive issue with nude pics, good riddance honestly. I like being single and I like nude photos so any man wanting a relationship needs to be super cool about it. I on the other hand am super cool about a partner shooting naked women so I guess I need to find myself a photographer boyfriend?

Or an artist, yeah. I am surprised to find you are not already coupled up with some borderline-eccentric, oddly hot oil painter.

I think the partner of most models supports what they do fully, although I have known of the odd occasion where this is not the case.As a photographer, I am 52 and happy to be single although I appreciate that is not for everyone.

At the end of the day they are just photos and the partner should accept that. It is not like they are having a sexual encounter with the photographer and vice versa. I say to people that whether I am taking pictures of a stained glass window in a church, an animal in a wildlife park or a woman with no clothes on, the only difference is the subject matter. They are just photos!

Just enjoy what you do whether you are single or otherwise.

Mel4nie said

Assuming you are looking for a partner of a similar age, if they are so insecure in themselves to be jealous of you and your hobby, then they aren't mature enough to be in a relationship with you.

I want this to be the simple truth. But the reality is that turning forty as a single man creates a change in perspective (unless you lie relentlessly about your age, which is no way to process turning forty).

Guys don't realise it but the invisibility of fortysomethings is not gendered. The older you are as a single man, the weirder (and maybe even more threatening) society instinctively believes you are.

And without wishing to caricature the OP who I hope understands that this is realism if not tough love, "fortysomething glamour photographer who is on the darts player side" is a narrower phenotype than people here might wish to admit to. Out there among the muggles, it's a look, and if the OP is not feeling confident he's pulling it off, then he ain't.

There are loads of ways to make photography fun that involve meeting people, and once you do meet people, you'll spot the ones who don't care about the details of your hobby, or who enjoy it.

But you have to meet them first. The sooner you are someone people want to introduce to their friends, the quicker it happens. I know this because I wasted all the opportunities given to me. 

So you make yourself introduce-able. New clothes, new haircut. Healthier outlook. Fresh air and sunshine. Social hobby. Get a dog, if you like dogs.

If the OP is feeling the clock ticking for finding someone to settle with and start a family, that's because the clock is ticking and it always has been. Listening to it and acting on it requires multi-level bravery I sincerely he finds and acts on.

Because nobody's going to find you in your house by yourself.

But get healthy either way. For you.

Edited by Unfocussed Mike