By Eva Lotus, 1714405681
Well hello PP people!🙂
It's been years since I posted something in the forums! My life changed a lot when I became a mum in 2020 and I stepped away from modelling for a few years. I started shooting occasionally again last year, which was probably the worse time for me to come back modelling. 2023 has been an incredibly difficult year for me; my mental health went downhill and I was battling an addiction. I spent a lot of time in hospitals where I received treatments and I was under so much medication all the time that I wasn't even myself anymore. So when I decided to start shooting again for the first time in years, I wasn't in the right state of mind. It just wasn't the right time. This is the first time I talk openly about this, I kinda felt ashamed before and I kept things to myself. It's been a very long and rocky road, but I'd like to say that today, my mental health is doing a lot better 🙂
As my mental health was improving, I booked a tour in London at the end of January so I could start shooting again and get back into it. But once I came back home, I realised that I didn't feel the same way as I used to when I was shooting full time a few years ago. I felt I wasn't as confident as before and I couldn't pose my body as freely or easily. One of the reason being that I put on a lot of weight due to my medications (1,5 stone) and to the fact that I was unable to practice any sort of physical activities as I had zero energy (because of my medications which included valium), so I was completely inactive. Gradually, I reduced my daily intake and I'm now almost drug free. And no more "bad drugs" either (valium). I began a fitness and diet journey at the beginning of February and I've lost 2 stones so far (14kg) but most importantly, I'm feeling good in my own skin again, and I feel soooo much healthier.
Now would be the right time to shoot again... but I've been thinking things over and over again and it becomes pretty clear in my mind that I just want a fresh start. I want to experience and learn new things, I want to move forward, I want to close a chapter of my life and start a brand new one. So sadly, I think it's time to say goodbye to Marla Pandora and leave the adult industry behind. I will soon come up with a new name for my non adult work, "Ivy" keeps popping to my head but I haven't made any choice yet (suggestions welcome). Over the next few weeks, I will sort my portfolio on here and other modelling sites, and I will update my social medias. Over the years, 90% of my work included adult work, so I hope that by lowering my levels photographers will still be keen to work with me. There's just so much more to me and I want to show it.
To all of you lovely people I've worked adult levels with, I would just kindly ask you not to tag me anymore (adult images only). I'm planning to start new adventures and I do not wish to be associated with the adult industry anymore. I will have a new name and new "identity".
Thank you if you made it this far! I'm looking forward to get creative again, produce some lovely images and learn new things within the artistic industry. I'm very excited to start this new chapter of my life.
And to everyone out there who are struggling with mental health or addictions: you are not alone ❤️
Marla x (soon to be changed!)
