Memento Mori

Added 1586394642 by CTE.

2013. My first proper canvas. I remember buying the brushes and standing dumbfounded by the array of paints feeling embarrassed by my ignorance. I was pretty good at and enjoyed Tech drawing in school as i didnt do art so the early paintings were heavily structured by maths and geometric patterns as i found my feet with learning what tools i could get my grubby mitts on. I dove into it over a month when i was having a rough time, i was coming off Citalapram (which is the chemical structure diagram in the painting) and was in the mood and space where the black ink is prone to blot the paper, so i thought fuck it, there is nothing to lose in life by trying if im saying its worthless, I could paint an abomination and shit my pants with suicide on the table as id be dead and would need neither so i made a reckoning that i had nothing to lose by dealing a swift kick in the bollox to fear swiftly followed by a swift elbow in the gob of procastination for trying to stop me. Making this gave me a sense of purpose and industry, it gave me a voice, it gave me space to find a sense of purpose and the belief of having a tangiable contribution and grounding in the world rather than feeling like this could be achieved by buying into systems i found illogical and narcacistic in their greed and shortsightedness. So instead of being angry and bursting everyones bubble by saying things like "Horseshit on a megaphone", "This is minotaur grade bullshit", "We're nuthin but bald monkeys slaughterin each other for shiney stones and gold hats" and the ocassional "fuck this, id rather eat a bag of vomit". You'll be happy to know i now plan to convert those sentiments into colors, cyphers and pictures, shining fragments of beauty floating on an ocean of loosely organised chaos with the occasional bobbing turd (purely for artistic juztaposition). I then plan to sell them to you in return for your hard earned cash so you can now take them home with you and put them on your wall for all to see. Share the pain.