By Fay Pearson, 1734542913
What a year it has been! I think I have only done two shoots in total this whole year! Next year I really want to get my teeth back into modelling and connect with creatives again. I've really missed it.
Something I also want to get off my chest is that I feel my modelling career has been somewhat turbulent, I started at the age of 19 and back then I was just a baby who didn't have a clue nor any real guidance. I did levels that I regret because at the time I thought it would make me "popular". Of course, now at 29 I can see that is silly, but I have spent most of my modelling years so desperately trying to fit in and be like some of the models I looked up to, forgetting my own worth in the process.
I then met someone who I felt I related to in terms of similar bad experiences. I later discovered this was a trauma bonded friendship, we were bonded by our trauma which we kept rehashing for two years straight. So much so that I could no longer think anything positive about freelance modelling and carried a lot of hurt and anger. I didn't know how to deal with my trauma from my early years in modelling in a healthy way. I went to therapy which helped immensely! And cut off ties with anyone who I felt was only causing me more harm than healing. I know feel so much more positive and optimistic about modelling and understand that my past trauma shouldn't deprive my joy of it now. So, here's to next year and to writing my new story!
