Who uses them, any success and what do you recommend ?
Interesting I met a lady on Tinder and I have to say her photos didn't do her justice....... she then said she paid £375 for the photoshoot, I took one of her on my iPhone and I think she now uses that one as a her profile photo. ( I wasn't tall enough or handsome enough for her LOL )
Edited by jonathantennantphotography.co.uk
Dating apps have become a nightmare, they were cool in the begining (more than a decade ago) but algorithms became evil at some point. Women know they will always find someone 'taller and richer' with the next click of the mouse so you need a rhino skin (same for us the ladies). Dating apps are not designed for you to meet a special other (that would be a bad business model for them) but to hook you infront of the screen as much as possible as that's how they make their money. It's a predators paradise full of married/partnered men, narcissists, male scammers and those with "not good intentions". This said it has worked for some people, mostly men, as I believe the algorith is design for the guys, it's not designed for women (unless you're looking for a drunken shag). I stopped using the apps 5 years ago and never looked back. My friends that use them tell me they've gotten much worse, it's like dog pound 2.0 nowadays.
Try it, then come back and tell us how it went, maybe you're lucky, who knows.
Go to the Pub, sit at the bar. It is amazing who you get talking to. Far too old and not really interested in a partner but never stops people talking when ordering drinks and the next time spending time talking. Have met a really diverse range of people of all ages and some are friends for life including sharing holidays. I have met MUAs and people I have worked with as models. Can't do that on an App.
Dating apps are great. I've recently met somebody through a dating app and we're getting along very well. Way back when, I met my wife on a dating app and whilst that eventually went south faster than a migrating swallow fucking off for the winter, that wasn't really the fault of the app.
Try not to pay attention to those who try to dissuade you from using them in favour of "just go out and meet somebody". I mean sure, this worked like a charm 20-30 years ago before everyone became insular and suspicious of anyone who might try to initiate a conversation. And not everyone's in a position to rely on socialising with friends and meeting somebody organically through work, or socialising or via their hobbies. There is an obvious need for dating apps as they're used by hundreds of millions of people globally.
Quick review of some popular options:
Tinder
Tinder is okay. It's otherwise the simplest form of a dating app - swipe left, swipe right. Short "about me" section. It's easy to use but has a much younger average userbase. There are a lot of users who turn to it because it's the most widely used app, but whilst it has the highest number of users and a lot of them are "looking for a relationship", the experience of using the app itself is rather superficial, and the interactions you have on there lean towards the same.
Bumble
I like Bumble specifically because the emphasis is on women sending the first message. It means that you can like whomever you want but that their inboxes are less likely to be spammed to buggery by every Tom, Dave or Harry who just says "Hey, wot u up2?". It means that you're more likely to establish meaningful dialogue when there is a match and they do reach out. Bumble has changed to allow for women to set a 'conversation starter' which allows men to make the first contact, but I think that's a cop-out and never bother. It defeats the purpose of using Bumble in my opinion.
I also like the variety of profile options, with the 'about me' section and several conversation prompts.
It doesn't make much sense to take the "swipe right as many times as possible" approach on Bumble as once a match is established, they have 24 hours to reach out to you and then you only have 24 hours to respond to their first message. The countdown is removed after both parties have sent their first messages but if you're trying to power-user your way through as many matches as you can this can lead to an unmanageable amount of conversations to try to juggle at once.
Hinge
This one was new to me - I'd heard of Bumble before and used Tinder previously but Hinge seems a lot more recent. It works on mostly the same premise - you swipe on profiles you're interested in. Once matched, anyone can send the first message. There's no "about me" bio section, but you can use various prompts or other boxes to talk a little about yourself. I like that it has an option to share a 30-second video of yourself, and also a 30-second voice recording (both come with topic prompts for context). I don't like that you can't send pictures through the app but to be fair that's probably because 99% of images guys send in DMs are unsolicited phallic grotesqueries. You can still send voice notes though which I prefer to typing, but that's not everyone's cup of tea.
Other
I'd say that out of the biggest three, Hinge was my favourite user experience. Other websites such as Match.com and eHarmony are pretty good for finding relationships and depending on a person's age there might be an argument for SilverSingles or Ourtime but I don't have any experience with those.
General Advice (for anyone using dating apps)
Don't just swipe right on everyone. Read somebody's profile before messaging. Don't just say "Hey, how's it going?" as it's boring and unlikely to get much interaction back. Keep your lower age criteria to half your age, plus seven - there are a lot of young women on these apps and they don't want to be made to feel uncomfortable by interest from crusty old fuckers who are old enough to be their dad - or their granddad. Take rejection on the chin - you aren't supposed to be liked by everyone, so don't take it personally if somebody doesn't feel like you're their ideal choice. Always be respectful. Don't send any dick pics. Treat dating as an adventure - don't pin your hopes of happiness on your success within the app. Be honest about your intentions - don't waste anyone's time if you're looking to put a ring on it and they're just after a short fling. And, most importantly, just enjoy it and don't take it too seriously.
Anyway, just some general thoughts. Nothing aimed at anyone in particular. Good luck on your dating journey!
Nothing worked for me. I'm now happy with myself and accepted that I am too poor, old, fat, wrinkly and ugly to be considered by anyone.
I found my wife on a dating app, which really surprised me.....we'd been married ten years. ;)
indemnity said
I found my wife on a dating app, which really surprised me.....we'd been married ten years. ;)
Trust you to trot that one out :-D
I think it's alot harder these days. From what friends have told me who are actively looking.
You really have to stand out! People are more critical it's easy to swipe past people as there's so many to look at!
It is practically a full part job time job! good luck to you genuinely. Because everyone deserves to find happiness.
Edited by Zara_Lee
Edited by Zara_Lee
Edited by Zara_Lee
I haven't used an app for a decade. I'm happy with my current circle of friends but ...
One of the sites, I think eHarmony, wouldn't let me join. I filled in the questionnaire and was told I wasn't romantic enough. I'm not willing to ditch my current life and move halfway around the world at the whim of a very self-centered and self-indulgent partner. Apparently this falls short of the levels of commitment needed for a successful relationship.
In my day there were no dating apps, we just used to go out and meet people. When I was far younger on a friends night out in a pub a guy came over to chat to us, made us all laugh and later that night asked me if I wanted to go out for a drink and I said "yes of course". Anyway a couple of days after the pub meet, my friend and I went out with the guy from the Pub, we all had a great time and after he dropped us at my house my friend said, "oh I'm not sure if I should go out with him". I turned around and reminded her "he asked me" and said "I am going out with him"! This guy was out of my age range, he was far too confident for my liking, but funny, fun, easy going and I loved that.
We've been together for well over 30 years now and we're currently enjoying portrait photography, me modelling my best wooden poses/facial expressions etc and him finding his bossy directing photographer persona, LOL. The moral of the story is that you can meet the person who will make you happy for the rest of your life when you're not even looking, as long as you are open to meeting someone new, someone outside of your partner material shopping list.
