Is this the new norm?

AJ the Model said

As a model, I also get "ghosted" by some photographers. It goes both ways and honestly, I agree it can be frustrating but to block someone I think it is a bit of an extreme response especially as I believe communication is so important and essential to always keep open. I don't let it discourage me from modelling.

So I dont mind when I get "ghosted" too much but I do feel highly offended when someone blocks me without any reason or form of communication. I think it says a lot about the photographer that did that as I see it as cowardly, impatient, poor communicator, and someone who has an anger problem or high ego.

It's really not a good look in my opinion and is never good to stoop as low as the other by blocking because they ghosted.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone by my words btw, I assume this is an open honest discussion so these are my honest thoughts 😊

Slow replies... Oops! I'm embarrassed. Erm... DM on its way. [I'm grovelling for forgiveness.]

Dear Mel4nie,

I've seen this attitude of potential collaboration partners as well in recent years. Much more pronounced within the last 4 years. As I keep my hand off social media, I can't say how smoothly things are going there, since one can always access it 'on the run' and pay no mind to it. I just use modelleing and photography websites, for which one would need to put up soem effort. As a consequence of that one has to wait sometimes weeks for a reply and in about 90 % of all cases I just get ghosted anyway from the getgo (as I only shoot TFp, it seems to be all about money nowadays). I could live with a "No, I don't wanna work with you.", as even simpler "no" or even an "Ewww" would do. but nothing at all. So I just hang in limbo and have to ask myself what I'Ve done wrong this time.

Therefore: I feel your trouble and find that lack of manners and etiquette quite rude.

But who am I to judge others. People get their shootings in whatsoever, it feels like. Just not with me.

Thanks for reading.

For many models and photographers it is just a hobby or part time money making side gig that takes second place to their real jobs and lives, so I "personally" wouldn't expect that hobbyists and part timers would provide the level of professionalism a full time working model/photographer would. Another alternative is the person you are contacting or is contacting you has a very poor profile or does not meet all of their or your requirements, so even though ghosting is not nice (and something I hope I would never do) they or you may prefer that over being asked "WHY DON'T YOU WANT to work with me", which creates more issues.

I can't really answer for others, but personally I see prompt and thorough comms as a mark of professionalism. It's always encouraging when I get a timely, thoughtful and courteous response from either a photographer or a model (or indeed anyone else I deal with) and I take it as a sign that we can work together.

If you're going to set yourself up as a photographer and / or model you really need to be making time to check and respond to comms at least daily. If you don't have time due to something else in your life then put an "AWAY" notice on your portfolio.

Declining gracefully is the true mark of a lady, gentleman or indeed anyone well brought-up. 'Ghosting' is plain rude.

Perhaps the biggest curse is someone who only ever responds to one point in your e-mail, leaving you having to ask all the other questions again.

All that aside, I have had very good shoots with people who were absolutely rubbish at comms, and as shoots for male models are few and far between I can't afford to block people who are crap at it...

Allesandro B completely agree with this. I do the same with non responses.

Orson Carter 😆😜

If you sent me a message, I apologise for not responding but unfortunately you blocked me. If I did reply, I am polite with responses. 

LifeModel said

Perhaps the biggest curse is someone who only ever responds to one point in your e-mail, leaving you having to ask all the other questions again.

Yes, that's another frustration. It's usually coupled with a question that was answered in the email you just sent them, leaving the sense that there's no point in repeating it in another email they won't read.

It's not just here. In my day job DJs are letting venues down left right and centre, because they've beaten them down on price (bear in mind venues are expecting to pay what they did pre-Pandemic) and as soon as a better offer has come along the original booker has been dropped.

I reach out to these enquiries and get nothing. Or eventually get "the other guy was only 125 quid so we can't afford you."

Er, that's why you've been let down bruv but you do you...

Allesandro B

"I've generally found that the professional, busy, full time models are the best communicators who always reply, with a couple of surprising exceptions. For me a no (I did have one recently, which was refreshing!) or "sorry I'm really busy for the next few months, I'll let you know when I have availability"(even if that isn't true) is better than a non response. "

Very much this.

Mel4nie I don't expect immediate responses either. And I hope you don't change your own personal Comms either. People with solid Comms are a good send.

I've seen plenty of complaints regarding being badgered with messages or messages ping pong etc. That sucks.

But it doesn't surprise me when part of that comes from just crap response time.

A couple of years ago I worked with someone that another photographer said I should shoot with. The communication was awful. When the shoot finally happened the model made an odd comment about the photographer who recommended me. They saw that they were always working with the same person and made a shady comment about that.

I had worked with that same person and I knew the reason: the communication. I knew that if I contacted them, they'd get back to me in a decent time.

There's people out there who have that are time poor with responses but expect a turnover time of images better than a professional/commercial outlets. 🤷🏾‍♂️

I don't like to keep models waiting with things like payment. So my messaging is generally similar.

Orson Carter said

AJ the Model said

As a model, I also get "ghosted" by some photographers. It goes both ways and honestly, I agree it can be frustrating but to block someone I think it is a bit of an extreme response especially as I believe communication is so important and essential to always keep open. I don't let it discourage me from modelling.

So I dont mind when I get "ghosted" too much but I do feel highly offended when someone blocks me without any reason or form of communication. I think it says a lot about the photographer that did that as I see it as cowardly, impatient, poor communicator, and someone who has an anger problem or high ego.

It's really not a good look in my opinion and is never good to stoop as low as the other by blocking because they ghosted.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone by my words btw, I assume this is an open honest discussion so these are my honest thoughts 😊

Slow replies... Oops! I'm embarrassed. Erm... DM on its way. [I'm grovelling for forgiveness.]

Haha, your comms are fab Orson, no worries there ;)

This sort of thing does happen, people being very busy and all. Its not worth getting bent out of shape about though, there lies madness :)

The only thing that ever bothers me in pre-comms is when it's all been discussed, organised, date sorted and the person has 'forgotten' about the booking when I send my week before 'just making sure all is ok!' message.

I work full time in a busy career, I also do photography jobs so when people 'forget' about a modelling job it is a big deal for me. I'm currently booking for March so I get that not everyone likes to book that far in advance, but if so then don't make the booking in the first place :)

Holly Alexander said

The only thing that ever bothers me in pre-comms is when it's all been discussed, organised, date sorted and the person has 'forgotten' about the booking when I send my week before 'just making sure all is ok!' message.

Or checks their journey the night before the shoot, only to find that it's twice as far as they'd assumed, and starts trying to change terms as a result.

Sorry, but the studio hasn't moved in the 6 months since we first floated the idea, let alone in the 3 months since it was all agreed and booked!

Edited by Sensual Art

I don't know that it's a new thing - I've got a several messages in my "Sent" folder that never received a response, going back a few years! 

As, I think, Allesandro B said, a "not interested but thanks" message is more appreciated than nothing.

When looking to arrange a shoot, I will often come up with a shortlist of models who might be suitable and will send a message to one before contacting the next (I don't like the idea of getting 3 or 4 "yes" replies then having to tell some of them actually, no!) - but when number 1 doesn't reply for a couple of weeks and the date I'm looking to book gets closer... well, it becomes a bit more stressful. I'd much rather get a "no thanks" straight away so I can move on. 

But yeah, not new. It's always been like this.