Does what you do impact your relationships?

This will be good . 

W A L L Y I'm assuming you're being sarcastic. I'm hoping it can be a decent discussion. But I'm not holding my breath. 😂

Had a immature boyfriend when I was getting into full time modelling at 16 who couldn't stand my travelling around the country, staying away from him, earning more money than him and the worst thing, having to talk to older men to organise shoots. When I turned 18, I dared to approach the subject of lingerie shoots etc, that and a few other things resulted in my head being smacked against a wall and a knife being held against me.

If a partner is trying to control what you shoot in ANY way, it's a huge red flag and that relationship isn't worth its salt. Your partner should trust you completely and both people or all people involved should be mature enough and confident enough in themselves that they are happy with the other doing a job like modelling and what it entails.

Thankfully now, I am with a partner who supports me 100% and is fine with me being away weeks at a time whilst I'm touring the country and is confident enough in himself not to be jealous or suspicious.

Basically, don't date insecure people, everything will be swell.

I met my fiancée on PurplePort. So yeah, she's cool as long as I don't make anyone else my avatar. ;)

Mercia Storm said

Had a immature boyfriend when I was getting into full time modelling at 16 who couldn't stand my travelling around the country, staying away from him, earning more money than him and the worst thing, having to talk to older men to organise shoots. When I turned 18, I dared to approach the subject of lingerie shoots etc, that and a few other things resulted in my head being smacked against a wall and a knife being held against me.

Glad you got away from that psycho :o 

Edited by intense.puppy

As a word of warning, I've known several models over the years whose partners originally said they were happy with them modelling but turned out not to be.

Gothic Image I've no doubt that's the case. I get enough gip from friends and family, which is why I've compartmentalised a lot of it away.

Mini-life story coming up...

I started doing a bit of photography when I was married to my first wife. And she started doing a bit of modelling. No problems - no jealousy or anything - on either side. I did a lot of glamour stuff including 'top shelf' mags, but it was strictly business. It paid fairly well so we both benefited.    

First wife and I parted company. A few years later I met Micky, who I subsequently married. (Brilliant brain; wonderful human being; lethal sense of humour. She's been making me laugh for 35 years now!) Micky had never had any involvement whatsoever with photography, so at first she was a bit uncertain about the machinations of glamour photography. However, she soon began to realise that it was strictly business. So no problems there. 

I then took a long break from all styles of photography (no untoward reason) and I didn't pick up a camera again until about 2010. (It was one of those digital thingies - even after all this time I still haven't got a sodding clue how digital works.) Almost by accident I did a couple of figure shoots, and soon after that I started model photography again - but this time solely as a hobby. Micky didn't bat an eyelid. She knew that it was something I enjoyed, that I wasn't doing it for 'suspicious' reasons, and that everything was above board. Even though she has negligible interest in photography herself, she often chips in with worthwhile critique of my pictures. But I must admit that she much prefers it when I do a clothed shoot - that's because she can look at the clothes the model is wearing. 

Micky is happy when I go out for a day's shooting. She says she's happy because I greatly enjoy it, but I reckon it's because she gets a bit of peace and quiet around the house while I'm out. 

I'm a very lucky old git. 

EDIT: FWIW, Micky has met a few of the models that I've worked with. 

Edited by Orson Carter

I think it comes down to what you shoot and how open your partner is. If you’re a female model shooting lingerie and nudes, it will almost always breed jealousy and distrust in my experience, based on models I’ve known over the years. The same applies to photographers shooting nudes of the opposite sex. It’s understandable—if one partner spends their day with naked or half-naked members of the opposite sex alone, it could naturally make their partner feel vulnerable. If it doesn’t, I’d say they are either exceptionally secure or very trusting, more so than the average person.

That said, communication is key in these situations. Being open about what you do and why you do it can help alleviate misunderstandings. If your partner feels included, whether by involving them in the process or discussing your work openly, it can foster trust. Shooting genres like landscapes or general portraits tends to lessen this kind of tension, as there’s less perceived intimacy involved.

Ultimately, it’s about understanding your partner’s feelings and finding ways to navigate their concerns together. Like any profession or hobby that involves close interaction with others, trust and mutual respect are essential.

I am lucky - I have known my wife for a LONG time.

Her starting on her modelling journey a number of years ago, resulted in my getting interested in shooting o/s of manual mode.

We share a hobby and she is now predominantly on the other side of the camera.

It is conundrum for those people who do NOT frequent this world - friends think I shoot porn and family avoid speaking about it, as it's frowned upon.

The rest they say is history...

Doctors and nurses are in closer proximity to unclothed people every day. It shouldn't be an issue, though you'll need someone who isn't a crank. The other option is to sell your gear and buy some darts. 

I don't shoot much higher level stuff and not had issues at home.

Edited by indemnity

Never been an issue, and Sonja has at times assisted or taken the stylist roll on shoots. I suspect that it’s not what you do/shoot, but how you do/shoot it… make good images, behave professionally, no problem(s).

indemnity said

Doctors and nurses are in closer proximity to unclothed people every day. It shouldn't be an issue, though you'll need someone who isn't a crank. The other option is to sell your gear and buy some darts. 

I seriously hope doctors and nurses aren’t getting patients to pose provocatively... it’s an entirely different scenario—or at least it should be. If not, they definitely shouldn’t be practicing medicine.

They do what they need to to heal people, We do what we do to feed a passion or need/desire. We create images we want to evoke feeling in others. 

Edited by ANDY00

I found the easiest way of dealing with all the potential negative aspects was to bring my wife to a shoot. She soon realised the idea of a shoot with a model is a lot less interesting than it sounds. She still likes to see the fruits of the labour of shoots but there’s a lot less fuss applied to it.

As Orson so eloquently put it, my wife gets that this is my creative outlet, as writing is hers. Very fortunate to be in this position.

In answer to your points though I’d say the right person wouldn’t expect you to choose if it was something that was important to you.

Having said that it sounds like you’ve maybe decided to pull back from this scene anyway. I wish you well whatever you choose.

Edited by mskeetphoto

mskeetphoto said

I found the easiest way of dealing with all the potential negative aspects was to bring my wife to a shoot. She soon realised the idea of a shoot with a model is a lot less interesting than it sounds. She still likes to see the fruits of the labour of shoots but there’s a lot less fuss applied to it.

As Orson so eloquently put it, my wife gets that this is my creative outlet, as writing is hers. Very fortunate to be in this position.

In answer to your points though I’d say the right person wouldn’t expect you to choose of it was something that was important to you.

Having said that it sounds like you’ve maybe decided to pull back from this scene anyway. I wish you well whatever you choose.

^ Excellent idea. 

As far as I can remember, the only time my wife has come to one of my shoots is when I was working with a male model who she fancied. :) She was insistent that she should help me set up the gear for that shoot, and for some reason or other she happened to still be around when James turned up. :)