Be honest- Do you love your own photography?
Huw said, 1732450360
Unfocussed Mike said
MaristarOxley said
Quote:
I do, on reflection, like some of my photos. But it's my photography I don't feel I like -- if you see the distinction. Not enough cohesion, not enough direction, not enough purpose. I don't know why I do it anymore. But my biggest problem is that I don't know why I do anything anymore.
I hear your feelings. Do you feel your photography reflects on a wider issue with your life? I know it has impacted on mine.
I think perhaps the biggest problem is that photography used to be a huge and significant part of my life -- it really helped me find a big and diverse social life when I was doing local music photography. Post-covid-lockdowns that has changed a lot and I think it has left me feeling ambivalent about all of it.
But this has been a useful thread because it has made me stare at my photos and my photography projects and ask myself: why, exactly, am I not enjoying this, when I am quite good at it?
(On my desk as well as one of the eatly prototypes of the simple DIY lenses Perception mentioned are two prototype focussing mechanisms for the next one, that I have designed and 3D printed. And I have absolutely no real idea why that project has stalled either).
I clearly need to set myself some goals to get started again, perhaps on photography I can do by myself over the winter.
Post Covid lockdowns have damaged a lot of things.
I notice the 20-25 year olds are far less outgoing, verging towards anxious and overcautious.
I find I do less "outside" activities, and I'm outgoing and without social anxiety....
So you are far from alone. :)
MaristarOxley said, 1732453853
It's not easy to get back into a flow,.but I do hope you can push through and get back to creating how you want.
Unfocussed Mike said, 1732453871
Huw said
Post Covid lockdowns have damaged a lot of things.
I notice the 20-25 year olds are far less outgoing, verging towards anxious and overcautious.I find I do less "outside" activities, and I'm outgoing and without social anxiety....
So you are far from alone. :)
Going through it essentially alone made me very much more self-contained and reserved again, and that is not always a good thing. Then I think I stopped being enough for myself.
I have done, in this period, things I am really chuffed with -- like, I researched vintage lenses and photographer styles, got a 3D printer, learned a CAD package a bit, made lenses and used them in a proper shoot with influences I recognise! This is proper involved art working. I'm no artist but I recognise this as an artistic process. And yet at the same time I don't know who I am doing this for and why it isn't really enough to do it for me.
I have a lot to get through. But thank you to MaristarOxley for making me see it from a different angle.
MaristarOxley said, 1732453991
Quote:
posing is totally unnatural to me, but I'm sure that I love doing it as much as anyone does.
The skill is not always naturally there for even the Supermodels of the day. It's a skill that needs practice and research. Every shoot is a learning experience.
MaristarOxley said, 1732454172
Quote:
I’m also finding it fun working with models to create a kind of “anti modelling” new set of ways to pose, it fails more than it succeeds but it’s fun, and sometimes it involves going a bit closer to a modelling pose than I’d like and dailing it down a notch.
Even if you want to do anti-model poses, you still need competent subjects who can get an understanding of what you need. This is an overlooked issue. A competent model should be able to translate your vision.
Huw said, 1732454264
Unfocussed Mike said
Huw said
Post Covid lockdowns have damaged a lot of things.
I notice the 20-25 year olds are far less outgoing, verging towards anxious and overcautious.I find I do less "outside" activities, and I'm outgoing and without social anxiety....
So you are far from alone. :)
Going through it essentially alone made me very much more self-contained and reserved again, and that is not always a good thing. Then I think I stopped being enough for myself.
I have done, in this period, things I am really chuffed with -- like, I researched vintage lenses and photographer styles, got a 3D printer, learned a CAD package a bit, made lenses and used them in a proper shoot with influences I recognise! This is proper involved art working. I'm no artist but I recognise this as an artistic process. And yet at the same time I don't know who I am doing this for and why it isn't really enough to do it for me.
I have a lot to get through. But thank you to MaristarOxley for making me see it from a different angle.
I had a very different experience of lockdown.
Two daughter worked for me, and we had the "vital services" exemption for medical research - so the family formed our own little "bubble".
On the minus side, I was working a 50-60 hour week for most of two years - and we still couldn't travel.
Even horse riding outdoors miles from people was banned here - because if you fell off and needed an ambulance that put NHS workers at risk (no disagreement here).
*********************
Pre-Covid, I could pack for a weeks business trip and leave for the airport in 20 minutes, like the others doing the same job.
Post Covid, more like half a day, stress out, and still forget something.
When I asked around, everybody else was the same.
MaristarOxley said, 1732454554
Quote:
why, exactly, am I not enjoying this, when I am quite good at it?
You need a shoot that kick-starts your enjoyment again. It's easy for me to say, I know, but this thread is to get some sparks into people's creativity, by questioning themselves
MaristarOxley said, 1732454916
Lockdown has been an absolute killer for my life. Lost all my friends ( if they were in the first place) and have not been able to find new ones ever since. I lead an extremely alone life atm. I shoot myself and have not shot as a photographer for models since 2022. Since lockdown, it's been a different world with models wanting to do shoots that are anything creative. It's all solely about getting paid with no regards to whether the session is good or inspiring. Of course there are some Fantastic models on PP, but it's not easy anymore to find them.
MaristarOxley said, 1732455070
Quote:
And yet at the same time I don't know who I am doing this for and why it isn't really enough to do it for me.
Do it because there's nothing else you want to do. I am a 58 year old who many say I should be retired from modelling. I do this because it's essentially me and I don't want to stop until I am ready.
Huw said, 1732459149
MaristarOxley said
Lockdown has been an absolute killer for my life. Lost all my friends ( if they were in the first place) and have not been able to find new ones ever since. I lead an extremely alone life atm. I shoot myself and have not shot as a photographer for models since 2022. Since lockdown, it's been a different world with models wanting to do shoots that are anything creative. It's all solely about getting paid with no regards to whether the session is good or inspiring. Of course there are some Fantastic models on PP, but it's not easy anymore to find them.
I agree.
Modelling during lockdown became a matter of survival for some.
OF was a source of income were there was no alternative.
Self-employed one person businesses which hadn't been trading for a year (hence no accounts) didn't get any help(if I remember correctly).
Hard to care about creativity when one is hungry.
New habits and work methods form.
WayneS said, 1732461102
MaristarOxley where i can I certainly try but more difficult on the post processing side as it’s not easy to unpick what people have done if you don’t know the functions and features used…
PHOTOGRAPHY WORKSHOP. STUDIO said, 1732463443
MaristarOxley said
Quote:
, I find that my relationship with my images is always evolving. I don’t think I ever fully settle or feel "at peace" with them, and honestly, I wouldn’t want to. Each image is like a stepping stone in a larger journey of discovery, both technically and creatively.
A very healthy outlook.
Btw, I've suggested one of your wet plate images for fpi.
Those pictures are so interesting, strong and lovely 👍🏽
Hi Marissa,
Thank you so much—that’s really kind of you! Or should I say 'très gentil', as we say here in sunny southwest France. 😊
Whenever you’re in the mood for a little weekend escape, just hop on a Ryanair flight and head this way. We’ll create an “interesting, strong, and lovely” wet plate together ; )
tandi said, 1732463644
I enjoy your group posts and follow both your model and photographer profiles, so am really looking forward to your next uploads.
Take care and have a lovely Sunday
Tabitha Boydell said, 1732463727
MaristarOxley said
Since lockdown, it's been a different world with models wanting to do shoots that are anything creative. It's all solely about getting paid with no regards to whether the session is good or inspiring. Of course there are some Fantastic models on PP, but it's not easy anymore to find them.
I wholeheartedly disagree with this. There are plenty of wonderful models on here and other platforms who care as much about the end result as they do the money. There are some clues on my port as to who they are ;)
MaristarOxley said, 1732464066
Quote:
Self-employed one person businesses which hadn't been trading for a year (hence no accounts) didn't get any help(if I remember correctly).
Hard to care about creativity when one is hungry.
New habits and work methods form.
I was only saved by no income by the fact that my husband was getting furlough and we don't have a mortgage anymore. To be honest, I still had agency bookings (BOOTS No7, the Guardian) but after lockdown, the industry changed and now I don't even go to castings anymore, because we now have to do it ourselves and submit them to the casting directors. It's way more difficult to know what to do by yourself without any guidance.