We should be helping each other, not hurting each other

Timmee I agree. I've been looking after my daughter's dog for the last two months and I guarantee this thread is nothing like wet dog 💩. 😀

Huw

Huw I have to praise all the really good contributors who have kept things from becoming a cornucopia of cattiness.

MaristarOxley

So tangential question. Do you think you (or other models who have contributed) could provide mentorship, particularly around things like the forums?

Afrofilmviewer That is a good idea. Mentorship is needed across many areas. The Forums will always attract negativity, but, for me, the way we react and deal with these issues, is very important for the whole of the community here.

Afrofilmviewer said

MaristarOxley

So tangential question. Do you think you (or other models who have contributed) could provide mentorship, particularly around things like the forums?

I asked my Meet and Greet representative when I wanted more information, then I found the groups and expanded my knowledge quickly thanks to others giving their time, advice and opinions.

The Groups? If you are going to be controversial and do not appreciate other people having a different opinion, and being passionate about expressing tit, then the forums are possibly not your best port of call. If you need help or advice, then it's the perfect place to be.

MaristarOxley said

Afrofilmviewer That is a good idea. Mentorship is needed across many areas. The Forums will always attract negativity, but, for me, the way we react and deal with these issues, is very important for the whole of the community here.

Maristar - I hope this isn't going off at a tangent but, personally, my take on things is that some forum threads will sometimes attract some negativity. I'm sorry, but I don't agree with those who say  that forums are full of hostility. Look at this thread, for example... There have been a few grumbles but, generally, most contributions have been constructive. Indeed, to get to 30 pages without being locked is a reflection of how well this thread has gone (and it's also a reflection of your stewardship - and patience! - of course). 

Also... A few weeks ago I posted an upbeat thread in praise of models. It ran to three pages without the remotest whiff of negativity. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to take credit for how that thread developed. I'm just trying to point out that upbeat, positive threads can generate more upbeat-ness [if that's a proper word :)] and more positivity.

It's not all doom and gloom on here. 

Orson Carter I agree that things do not have to turn sour. I have read your thread and indeed, it is a positive post. It's hopefully a good place for models to get to interacting on there and finding kindred spirits.

Personally I think that if the main instigators of the passive aggressive shit stopped then the forums would become much more inclusive overnight.

But I suspect thats a pipe dream.

We can live in hope though. Hope is important.

MaristarOxley said

Orson Carter I agree that things do not have to turn sour. I have read your thread and indeed, it is a positive post. It's hopefully a good place for models to get to interacting on there and finding kindred spirits.

Maristar -- I was hesitant about referring to my thread of a few weeks ago. I didn't want it to seem as if I was doing a 'look at me'. The reason for mentioning that thread was (hopefully!) as more evidence that positivity can generate further positivity. There's also Share a Shoot threads on here - there have been some excellent threads showing how brilliantly shoots have turned out, and how happy all the relevant parties are.   

Don't get me wrong. My head is not buried in the sand (though some folk might wish it were.). Yes - I do see some negativity and general naysaying on the forums. But as with so many things in life, people are quick to pounce on bad news. Good news - 'everything worked well' - is rarely considered newsworthy. 

Apologies. I'm veering away from the purpose of your original post. 

[P.S: In case you haven't guessed, I'm a 'glass half full' person. :)]

Margo Jost I don't think we can get rid of them, because in all fairness, they can participate. What will stop them is to either ignore their comments, or call them out and give more time to the positive discussions. Your participation here has been so great and I appreciate all your comments, as you have been so respectful to everyone.

I think that when some people are consistently abusive to others but it flies "under the radar" to others it can create an under current of negativity that perhaps others on the thread don't understand but obviously the person that constantly puts up with the abuse can then have a very different opinion as to what's happening in the forums.

Like all social media, peoples responses and reaction come down to whether they view themselves such :

1. Am I am abuser?

2. Am I the victim?

3. Am I the bystander?

The responses that people make in threads will be directly to whether each individual person is 1, 2 or 3.

Obviously online abuse is something I feel quite strongly about, especially this form of passive abuse which is rampant on here but as we know flies under the radar as I've discussed it before.

Edited by Margo Jost

Margo Jost

You are right. The passive aggressive is something that is not easy to deal with for, say the admin. The problem is that the perpetrators won't dish out the words directly to the person they are talking about, so really, how can it be proven, in order to regulate?

I'm getting this very thing on here and what is making it annoying, is that the person has blocked me after their first contribution to the thread. I would not want to report them, but if it's my post, then how is it still possible for them to participate in the discussion, when I can't defend myself directly to them.

Can I just say that if you have not visited this lady's port, then do, when you have time

Orson Carter said

MaristarOxley said

Afrofilmviewer That is a good idea. Mentorship is needed across many areas. The Forums will always attract negativity, but, for me, the way we react and deal with these issues, is very important for the whole of the community here.

Maristar - I hope this isn't going off at a tangent but, personally, my take on things is that some forum threads will sometimes attract some negativity. I'm sorry, but I don't agree with those who say  that forums are full of hostility. Look at this thread, for example... There have been a few grumbles but, generally, most contributions have been constructive. Indeed, to get to 30 pages without being locked is a reflection of how well this thread has gone (and it's also a reflection of your stewardship - and patience! - of course). 

Also... A few weeks ago I posted an upbeat thread in praise of models. It ran to three pages without the remotest whiff of negativity. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to take credit for how that thread developed. I'm just trying to point out that upbeat, positive threads can generate more upbeat-ness [if that's a proper word :)] and more positivity.

It's not all doom and gloom on here. 

I agree 100% Orson

Margo Jost said

I think that when some people are consistently abusive to others but it flies "under the radar" to others it can create an under current of negativity that perhaps others on the thread don't understand but obviously the person that constantly puts up with the abuse can then have a very different opinion as to what's happening in the forums.

Like all social media, peoples responses and reaction come down to whether they view themselves such :

1. Am I am abuser?

2. Am I the victim?

3. Am I the bystander?

The responses that people make in threads will be directly to whether each individual person is 1, 2 or 3.

Obviously online abuse is something I feel quite strongly about, especially this form of passive abuse which is rampant on here but as we know flies under the radar as I've discussed it before.

Edited by Margo Jost

I have to politely disagree, possibly some people view themselves as I do as just contributing to the discussion. Keystrokes have no emotion, only the ones we ourselves read into them and sometimes they can be mistaken or misunderstood. That said some online abuse is easy to spot and is extremely hurtful for everyone seeing it. No one should should ever be abused online but I'm confident that when it happens Admin steps in or the person being abused should report it.

tandi that's ok, you weren't around for the worst of the abuse directed towards me so I can understand that you might not see the full picture.

Those people that have been on the forums a long time are much more atuned to what's happened / been happening but I can understand that as a relative newcomer you will not have seen the full story.

If you read my comment a few pages back you'll see I've explained why it is almost impossible for admin to deal with it.

There are a couple of people on here who excel as passive aggressiveness which is incredibly hard to report. I'm not going to rehash what I wrote then, I'll just condense it to

Outright aggressiveness = easy to report / easy for admin to deal with

Incidious persistent long term passive aggressiveness = difficult to report / difficult for admin to deal with.

Edited by Margo Jost