We should be helping each other, not hurting each other

MaristarOxley ah thank you, you are immensely kind ❤️

MaristarOxley said

Margo Jost

You are right. The passive aggressive is something that is not easy to deal with for, say the admin. The problem is that the perpetrators won't dish out the words directly to the person they are talking about, so really, how can it be proven, in order to regulate?

I'm getting this very thing on here and what is making it annoying, is that the person has blocked me after their first contribution to the thread. I would not want to report them, but if it's my post, then how is it still possible for them to participate in the discussion, when I can't defend myself directly to them.

I've been away from the thread and don't catch up on past comments because this post has really grown. I did see that someone offered a critique on your profile previously which the person was criticised for doing by others. I believe that led to you being blocked by that person. It was rather odd, but forgive me if I misunderstood the situation but there was no abuse, just an unrequested critique. Did the person continue in this thread after blocking you?

Edited by tandi

MaristarOxley I think this comes back to the old issue of a full block option on here. Or the lack of a full block option.

Personally I think the reason that a full block cannot be implemented is that it would cause utter chaos in the forums if everyone had everyone else blocked.

The conversations would make no sense because people would be replying to other people who are blocked and not blocked etc etc ......

Currently even if you have someone blocked, you can still read their comments, if you really want, so you can still actually follow the thread. you can still see comments of people you've blocked if someone else replies to them etc ect.....

If they were just big holes everywhere because alot of people do have each other blocked on the forums (I know some people disagree with that but you only have to look and see in some threads when people say they have each other blocked and it does come up from time to time) then conversations just wouldn't flow. It'd be a disaster.

I think this problem stems from the amount of people using the forums. or the small amount of people that do. If the forum was alot bigger like say a Reddit forum or Facebook where 100 people may be commenting then a few people blocking each other has zero impact on the conversation. But when you only have about 12 people regularly engaging on a forum with perhaps 10 others popping in from time to time then people blocking each other and the forum still functioning just isn't going to happen.

The solution obviously is to get far more people engaging in the forums then the blocking might not be such an issue but how do you get more people to engage when it's a small and not so friendly and welcoming group (at times).

I can't see the solution beyond everyone agreeing to be nice to each other. Maybe admin should get us all to sign disclaimers when we use the forums that every single thing we have to say bar none is lovely and friendly and kind.

Personally I think that would be really interesting and fun to do but I can't see it happening on here 😄🙈

Edited by Margo Jost

tandi no, I didn't know anyone had critiqued me and to be fair, I often ask for critique so I cannot think that what you're referring to is correct. Sorry it doesn't ring any bells with me unfortunately.

The incidences I am referring to are long before you joined the site.

No, I've re read and it's definitely nothing to do with what you've suggested.

Someone may have blocked me at some point but no, it's not the individuals I'm refering to.

But I'd rather not go down details of my specific issue as I've spoken about them quite alot now and I think that forum aggressiveness is more of a site wide rather than individual problem so I would prefer to focus on the site wide problem rather than my individual one.

I try to use that simply for examples of passive aggressive abuse.

Edited by Margo Jost

Margo Jost said

tandi no, I didn't know anyone had critiqued me and to be fair, I often ask for critique so I cannot think that what you're referring to is correct. Sorry it doesn't ring any bells with me unfortunately.

The incidences I am referring to are long before you joined the site.

No, I've re read and it's definitely nothing to do with what you've suggested.

Someone may have blocked me at some point but no, it's not the individuals I'm refering to.

But I'd rather not go down details of my specific issue as I've spoken about them quite alot now and I think that forum aggressiveness is more of a site wide rather than individual problem so I would prefer to focus on the site wide problem rather than my individual one.

I try to use that simply for examples of passive aggressive abuse.

Edited by Margo Jost

Sorry Margo, I meant to reply to MaristarOxley, but MaristarOxley replied to your post so you were included, or something weird like that :-) Sorry

tandi oh that's fine, that happens quite alot, it's just the way forum responses work. Don't worry, we've all done it 😊

tandi

"The Groups? If you are going to be controversial and do not appreciate other people having a different opinion, and being passionate about expressing tit, then the forums are possibly not your best port of call. If you need help or advice, then it's the perfect place to be."

I had a bit to say on this...but I'll leave it at saying that I think personally not a lot of this place is about passion.

The fact you found help and advice however is good. And that you hold a sense of optimism is also pleasant to see.

Afrofilmviewer said

tandi

"The Groups? If you are going to be controversial and do not appreciate other people having a different opinion, and being passionate about expressing tit, then the forums are possibly not your best port of call. If you need help or advice, then it's the perfect place to be."

I had a bit to say on this...but I'll leave it at saying that I think personally not a lot of this place is about passion.

The fact you found help and advice however is good. And that you hold a sense of optimism is also pleasant to see.

Firstly apologies for the "expressing it" typo. Thanks I try to be optimistic and keep my glass full at all times :-)

Margo Jost the critique was about me. It was right at the beginning and I think you called him out, but let me check.

tandi

Yes it was directed towards myself and yes, he blocked me.

Margo Jost

Quote:

The solution obviously is to get far more people engaging in the forums then the blocking might not be such an issue but how do you get more people to engage when it's a small and not so friendly and welcoming group (at times).

Yeah, that's the rub

MaristarOxley - I'm about to ask a nosey question. If I'm being too nosey, just say so and tell me to bog off. I obviously don't expect you - or anyone - to feel obliged to reveal any personal stuff. But here goes anyway...  

I imagine that your profile has rocketed on here - many, many more people are now aware of your presence on here. But despite the generally constructive nature of this thread and despite the impressive (and patient!) way you have stewarded it, has the raising of your profile resulted in 'making collaborations, connections better'? 

[I wish I could ask that question in a less personal way.]

Edited by Orson Carter

Orson Carter

Thank you for asking? You have approached it so well.

I have had a connection, indeed and am going to be shooting ( hopefully) with someone who contributed on here.

My account has not blown up here, as I have zero nudes and it will most likely stay under the radar. I'm not as accomplished, or luck yo have a whole studio or access to a full team as Xenia, but I'm rolling along- I still have 4 wheels on my wagon 😀

MaristarOxley said

Orson Carter

Thank you for asking? You have approached it so well.

I have had a connection, indeed and am going to be shooting ( hopefully) with someone who contributed on here.

My account has not blown up here, as I have zero nudes and it will most likely stay under the radar. I'm not as accomplished, or luck yo have a whole studio or access to a full team as Xenia, but I'm rolling along- I still have 4 wheels on my wagon 😀

Very pleased to hear that. 

Orson Carter I also hope that others here found some creatives to work with.