Let’s hear your best (worst) one liner (dad) jokes!

Have you heard about the magic tractor? 

It turned into a field...

What's an 'ig'? An eskimo's house without a toilet.

I got arrested for taking photos of naked people the other day? Officer said it was due to indecent exposure... - I'll get my coat...

Did you hear about the award-winning scarecrow? 

He was outstanding in his field...

If you get cold you should stand in the corner of the room

it's always 90 degrees...

I have so many hidden talents..

If only I could find just one of them…..

I’ve got a fantastic digital radio for sale…

It’s got a broken volume knob though, so I’m practically giving it away for just a quid.

You can’t turn that down!

Ok, so I don’t care about the new 1080 pixel image size..

I plan to hack the system and post everything at 4320px

It’s my new year’s resolution 😜

Did you know they don't show The Flintstones in Dubai?

But Abu Dhabi do.

I just found I’m colour blind!! The news came out of the orange 😳 (Hic 🍾 sorry)

Edited by Ian Oliver

I keep on trying to lose Weight but it keeps finding me

I need to put the Christmas decorations back in the loft, so I'll need my step-ladder; I never knew my real ladder.  

MarcAyresPhoto I got arrested for indecent exposure. Officer said it was too long.

Boom boom.

Writing to a fellow photographer in the trade, I've just written... "...may your camera make images which rock like a model's boobs in a loose bra and your tripod be as firm and supportive as your wife's love for you".

Do you think I might have had too much celebration juice?
In my defence I would say that my friends have been married for many, many years and are still like newly-weds with each other, so my comment was very much a compliment.

My brother thinks he is a chicken.

Why don't you take him to see a psychiatrist?

I would do, but we need the eggs.